Sunday, April 17, 2005

My Person gets mad!

Yesterday, I made like Houdini and escaped from the house.
The neighbour who has been threatening to take Knuckes to the Pound, made the same threat about me, claiming that I messed on her lawn.
First of all, let me say that I am, like many cats, very fastidious and if I do my "business", I don't do it in the middle of someone's lawn. I am also somewhat lazy and don't feel it necessary to walk all the way across the Co-op where I live, in order to do my "business". If I do my "business" it is in my box, in the privacy of my own home. If I were "caught short", I would be far more likely to do it in my own yard or in the yard of The Interloper, not to go across town to do it.
Secondly, my Person, makes it a policy not to let me out of the house. If I do get out of the house, I have to do it when her mother is going in or out, since I can take advantage of the fact that she is 80 years-old and very, very slow. If my Person is home when I escape, she usually manages to catch me and put me back in the house. My Person's mother, again because she is 80, can't catch me, so she has to let me come in on my own.
My Person is very responsible, too. She always makes sure I haven't upset a neighbour and gets mad when I get out.
Yesterday, I got out when my Person's mother was going out of the house. This time, the neighbour went up to my Person's mother and started yelling at her about me having messed on her lawn (except she didn't use the word "messed". She used a word that started with "s" and ends with "hit"). Since my Person's mother is very old and very slow, and doesn't swear, this made her very unhappy and she cried. She had trouble sleeping last night, and that made my Person upset.
Today, my Person wrote a letter to tell the neighbour what she thought of he for yelling at her mother and for never once speaking to her in a reasonable manner about this supposed problem. In fact, the only two times she has nmentioned the problem to my Person, she claimed that I had been out of the house when, in fact, I hadn't been out for days because my Person had been sick in bed with the flu and her mother had been out of town, so I had no chance to escape.
The next time was a few days later when I actually had been out. The neighbour yelled at my Person's mother and then accused my Person of lying about the other day when I hadn't been out.
My Person was pretty upset about being called a liar and tried to explain that not only was she not a liar but that she didn't think that I had been messing on the woman's lawn. She suggested it might have been a dog or one of the many, many other cats that wander around the neighbourhood.
This time, my Person wrote a letter and sent a copy to the Board for the Co-op telling them she was pretty upset.
She also pointed out that if the woman caught me and took me to the Pound, she would take her to court. Since she could bring a number of neighbours who could state that this woman regularly made irrational and unsubstantiated claims about other peoples' cats, the fact that she yelled at an 80 year-old woman and made her feel guilty about being old, and that she had offered no proff, my Person said that it was likely that the woman would lose.
No one f***s with my Person!

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

Tuxedo, aka "Knuckles" presuming to make himself to home on MY chair!

Knuckles, as my Person calls him, is shortly, unfortunately, likely to be picked up by Animal Control. No one seems to know who he belongs to and he has been making himself "to home" in a number of the houses around. He comes into My house to avail himself of catnip. Unfortunately, he is an "outdoor cat" and has raised the ire of one of my doltish neighbours who blames him for getting into her garbage. Since he is very well fed and has more than ample access to catfood (although food is always out for Me, he hardly ever touches it, so I very much doubt he is tearing open garbage bags in order to steal food), I think it far more likely that it is a racoon and not My dear little friend. Anyhow, Knuckles and I seem to tolerate each other and We and Pippin (The Interloper) are now fast friends.
There are times when, rather than calling Animal Control, you could call People Control....

Pippin (The Interloper) helping himself to MY catnip! That's me in the background planning my revenge... One day.... One day... when you least expect it!....

Me, again. Note the disbelief at seeing not one Interloper, but TWO Interlopers in my own house! Of all the indignities! I shall glare pointedly at my Person for an entire evening for this!
My Person SAYS that this is what happens when, in my Houdini guise, I escape and they have to leave the back door open for me to come in.... Frankly, I think it is their own fault for not stadnding by the door awaiting my desire to re-enter. Imagine?!?!?